Yesterday was a very trying day. LB and I were back in full-swing mode after a week of letting him off easy in so many respects as I tried to regain my bearings. Yesterday, we paid the price - he was lazy, inattentive, and just plain energy-draining for me. Then, BB and TB get home from school and I let them get away with doing nothing as I was too brain dead to be active. As you can predict, they did nothing but annoy me. The last straw came when BB, who is not overly fond of playing the piano but has learned to accept the notion that he's got to practice it, had a hissy fit over my insistence that he use a metronome.
Today, we went back at it with a difference. From the minute I went to wake them up, they were pushed to get things done NOW! It was rough, let's just say that there was a lot of yelling involved as well as a few squirts of water. But, lo and behold, things got done. And you know what? They were happy. Once they realized that mom was in charge they became more focused and actually got their work done.
Unschoolers really amaze me. Their children seem so inclined to learn and explore. My kids are too as long as the screens are off. But will they get their math done? Will they get their morning chores done? Not a chance.
I sometimes feel guilty for not being more "unschooly." But, I've come to accept that it simply is a poor fit around here. As I was nosing around my saved posts on my Google Reader I ran across these two posts from Kim at Starry Sky Ranch: Perseverence or why we are not unschoolers and Perseverance Pt 2. They were exactly what I needed to read today. Especially this:
Over time we have watched families of all different ideologies move from early childhood through puberty and on to launching adults into the world. What I have seen of many who proclaim the virtues of non-coercive methods is ironically a subtle, often mutual, disrespect and lethargy as time goes on. This seems particularly so when the children involved were male. Men seem to have an innate sense of authority and order. They can detect when it is lacking and this seems to breed contempt, versus that overwhelming gratitude many moms hope for when they, in all sincerity, allow the children to call the shots. For those with more compliant children there was less contempt, yet many entered adult life lacking skills, organizational and otherwise, that would have greatly benefitted them well when faced with the challenges of marriage and career life.
By the way, I've learned a lot from Kim's blog and highly recommend you check it out!
Our new system of getting through the day's tasks is showing promise. I've got a few kinks to work out - will post about it soon.
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